Eye Candy #103 - "Eragon"

Eragon: A fantasy epic with an inexplicable lack of energy and urgency, with a standout cast crippled by a mediocre, derivative script that’s riddled with clichés, and some of the single worst voice dubbing (specifically Saphira) I‘ve ever heard, it’s like amateur night (think similar to “The Last Legion”, which had much the same problems). Based on the book of the same name by Christopher Paolini, Eragon is a farm boy who finds a dragon egg while hunting. The egg hatches into Saphira, a blue dragon, and thus fulfills the prophecy of Eragon becoming a dragon rider, overthrowing the evil king with the unnecessarily dramatic name, Galbatorix (John Malkovich). Eragon falls under the tutelage of a former dragon rider, Brom (Jeremy Irons). But Galbatorix has all manner of nasties at his disposal to kill Eragon, including his chief henchperson Durza the Shade (Robert Carlyle) and off we go. It takes a special kind of director to blow a film with a cast of Irons, Malkovich, and Carlyle. Woodchuck sez, “