Jennifer's Body: Diablo Cody's lackluster follow-up to the superior "Juno" is a trip down Schlock-Teen-Horror Lane with Megan Fox, whose sole claim to fame is that she's hotter than the sun and dumber than a post, as Jennifer Check, head cheerleader and town doorknob, who, after a chance encounter with a goth-emo band that wants Satan to help their band become famous (you may need to re-read that as dumb as it is), is turned into a man-eating succubus (I can't say that word without having the voice of South Park's Chef in my head). It's up to her best friend, the quiet, unassuming Needy (her name is Anita; played by Amanda Seyfried), to stop Jennifer and save the town of Devil's Kettle, Minnesota. Your enjoyment of this picture is based on a.) walking in the door with really low standards; and b.) how much Megan Fox you can stand. I personally couldn't do either, so this film was tedious to get through. The driving plot point (about the goth emo band) is almost too dumb to live. And wouldn't calling this a "horror teen comedy fusion" imply that at least some part of the film was funny? It brings absolutely nothing new to the table. It isn't inventive, funny, charming, or particularly scary. Disappointing all the way around, except for J.K. Simmons in a very funny wig. Woodchuck sez, "Skip it."
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