Eye Candy #238 - "The Love Guru"

The Love Guru:  And here we have a disappointing hodge-podge of retread Mike Myers’ ideas, many of which were hilarious the first time…10 years ago.    Vern Troyer (Mini-Me) is back, gratuitous musical numbers are back (including the inexplicable inclusion of  The Steve Miller Band‘s “The Joker“), sexual double entendres are back…all that’s missing to make it a Myers movie are a gimmick about euphemisms for “Johnson” and a Scottish grandpa yelling “Haid!”  Myers is Pitka, the world’s 2nd best known guru behind Deepak Chopra.  He is hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (played by Jessica Alba) to mentor her star player who is on the rocks, so the Leafs can win the Stanley Cup.  And in doing so, Pitka hopes to make it on to “Oprah” and displace Chopra.  Not a good hockey movie, not a good romantic comedy, with waaaay too many celebrity cameos (including Val Kilmer, who looks like hell), with real laughs few and far between (I did enjoy use of actress Mariska Hargitay‘s name as his general purpose greeting).  Justin Timberlake wrings the only consistent laughs in the film, as a French-Canadian hockey player that’s endowed like a horse.  Oh, and we get to see elephants humping in the middle of an ice rink.  Whoopity-doo.  Seriously, seriously disappointing.  Woodchuck sez, “Skip it.”