Eye Candy #495 - "Piranha 3-D"

Piranha 3-D:  Equal parts gory and goofy, this film is not for the squeamish, not for children, and not very good.  An earthquake at the Havasu-like Lake Victoria unleashes a horde of flesh-eating prehistoric piranhas that run wild on the vacationing hedonist college kids there.  Pornstar cameos and female nudity abound.  Once things go pear-shaped, it’s up to the local sheriff, played by Elizabeth Shue, and several sidekicks, including Ving Rhames, to save the hedonists and the day.  Jerry O’Connell is here in support as a “Girls Gone Wild” type director.   The plot here is so shallow, I couldn’t go into detail if I tried as there is no detail to go into - the film exists solely to showcase the obviously CGI’d fish, but they lack any creativity in terms of the death scenes, as the piranhas just nom-nom-nom everyone to death, which is fine the first time, but loses its luster after the 15th or 16th iteration.  The only redeeming feature is several minutes of better than average softcore porn, as two of them female leads swim naked together…before they both die horribly at the hands of the fish.  This is a horror comedy with all of one laugh.  Woodchuck sez, “Skip it.”