Eye Candy #439 - "The Expendables"

The Expendables:  Let me first say that I enjoyed the film.  Let me follow that by saying, in terms of plot and dialogue, this film is absolutely bankrupt.  More a novelty film than anything, various old school action stars (Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren) and a host of young turks (Jason Statham, Jet Li) bring to the screen the tale of a team of mercenaries who use all their murderous might to help topple a corrupt government on a tiny island in the Gulf of Mexico, Vilena, population 6000 and change, a la various action movies from the 1970‘s through the 1990‘s.  And you would think from the carnage displayed they killed a 1/3rd of the population in the course of their “liberation”, all because Barney (Stallone’s character) would rather fight for ‘something’ instead of just money.  There are a few effective vignettes, mostly involving the staggeringly graphic violence (people being blown in half, heads cut off with a knife swipe, that sort of thing), but the parts don’t add up to a successful whole.  Stallone, at 64, is almost painful to watch while running and unfortunately he does a lot of it.   There are logic holes you can drive a C-130 through, and much of the violence is gratuitous and for its own sake (the set-up for a large explosion at the end is literally a minutes long vignette of our stalwart heroes running around slapping explosives on things…which isn’t all that exciting).    And did the generale, the puppet ruler of Vilena, spend all his ill-gotten gains on candles, because his home has more candles than church.  I can’t tell if it’s an homage or a send-up of the genre.  Nearly mindless, but that doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining from time to time.  Woodchuck sez, “Might be your cup of tea.”