Eye Candy #17 - "Next"

Next: The number one rule of the sci-fi film is never slap an ending on your film that negates everything the audience just bought into. Typically, it’s a cop-out, it’s unsatisfying, not to mention a giant slap in the face to the audience. And unfortunately “Next” breaks that rule in a big bad way. Nicholas Cage is Cris Johnson (is it just me or does Nic Cage tend to end up with sillier sounding film alter egos than most?), a Las Vegas magician who has real powers of prestidigitation (he can see the future). However, there is a catch - he can only see the future as it pertains to himself and typically only in “Sooner” rather than “Later” category. So the FBI (led by Julianne Moore) wants him to help track down a missing Russian nuclear weapon, while he would rather chase the girl of his dreams (or rather girl of his prestidigitations, played by Jessica Biel), while the terrorists (led by Thomas Kretchsmann) view him as a threat to their plans. And that’s the least ludicrous the plot gets right there. The rest is extremely hard to believe. So let me get this straight: the only threat to the terrorist’s plan is Cris Johnson, who performs nightly in Vegas, and they can’t seem to get together to kill him until his window of opportunity to stop them has opened? Are you kidding me? How bad of a terrorist do you have to be to think that way? When the heck was the last time a Las Vegas magician was a threat to anyone other than themselves? Sorry. There is way too much explained (who the terrorists are for one; they’re all European and apparently from different places, yet you have no idea who they are or why they want to nuke southern California), who Cage got his powers and are there others like him? How does the movie REALLY end? You know, things like that. Woodchuck sez, “Disappointed.”