Eye Candy #88 - "Leonard Part 6"

Leonard Part 6: In general, sequels disappoint. Apparently sequels to movies that never existed disappoint even more so. I can honestly say that, prior to this writing, I had never sat all the way through “Leonard Part 6”, so I couldn’t fully appreciate its place as one of the worst films of all time. Perhaps we humans are genetically coded to avoid it. Super-spy Leonard Parker (Bill Cosby) is approached by his former handlers at the CIA to stop a megalomaniacal vegetarian, Medusa Johnson, that has trained animals to kill humans (like salmon and frogs). Cosby, who wrote the story upon which the movie is based, and the director Paul Weiland have sniped at each for the failure of the film. I think both share equal blame - Cosby quite simply, in a story of his own devising, is incredibly unfunny. Not a single laugh, chuckle, guffaw, or snort in the entire film. The sight gags fail utterly (with the exception of the Porsche 928 with the turret on top). There are so many failed one-liners, it’s painful. What possessed Cosby, who was really at the zenith of his powers in 1987, to star in this film, we may never know. It’s not really for children (it dwells a lot on marital infidelity, which isn’t your standard child fair; there is also a gratuitous flashing nipple joke)) and it’s too dumb for adults, so who was supposed to get this? It’s almost theatre of the absurd about veganism. What we do know is that a.) Cosby bought the TV rights so it can never be shown on television so thank you, Mr. Cosby, for that small favor; and b.) this is yet another film that managed to make it to DVD before “The African Queen”. What some of the other actors in this film are doing here (like Sir Tom Courtenay or Joe Don Baker; even character actor Moses Gunn is given nothing to do), I have no idea. Nor does it look like they do either. I can safely say its reputation is well deserved. Woodchuck sez, “Complete and utter crapola.”