Eye Candy #58 - "Epic Movie"

Epic Movie: Every once in a great while, you come across a movie so indescribably bad, that fails so completely at its obvious goal, it removes all doubt why some people shouldn't be in the Screenwriters Guild of America. Seriously. If this was a parody, this was the worst parody I've EVER SEEN. (Attempting) to send up something close to 2 dozen movies during the course of its 86 minutes, "Epic Movie" is an epic waste of time and as incoherent as it is dumb. It makes "Scary Movie 2", which was a steaming pile, look great by comparison. How can I watch a comedy and not laugh ONCE? I mean, how is it even possible to make Fred Willard *NOT* funny in any film? I thought that defied the natural order of the universe! And what are so many of the "Best in Show" crew doing in this film to begin with? Did they lose a bet? Keith Carradine? What the hell are you doing here? Kal Penn? You need to kick your agent in the jimmy, because with this and "Rise of the Taj", you are crushing any career momentum you actually made with "Harold and Kumar". This movie was bad, real bad, awful, godawful, and utter poo. To put it plainly in terms all could understand, "Epic Movie" makes "The Marine" look great.