Eye Candy #23 - "Invasion USA"

Invasion USA: Good gravy, this movie was awful! A perfect example of the sort of mindless, pre-Walker Texas Ranger hooey that Chuck Norris found himself mired in from 1978 to 1995. This movie makes the vaguely, similiarly themed "Red Dawn" look like "Gone with the Wind". Rostov (played Richard Lynch, who can't help but be cast as bad guys, as rough as he looks; you may remember him from the classic "Lambada - The Forbidden Dance") is a Soviet terrorist, and he and a small army of commandoes make landfall in Florida, bent on waging a war of terror against the US, bringing fear to the 'burbs. But before he can get started, he wants to settle old scores with Matt Hunter (Norris), a former CIA agent that Rostov had clashed with years before. but who now drives airboats for living. So invasion plans go on hold until Rostov can get him some. Hunter is recruited by the Company to go after Rostov and save the day. What follows are some of the worst, silly, doofy action set pieces ever to grace celluloid, from the "terrorists" that all look like they shopped at some kind of military goodwill store (seriously, it looks like they rounded up homeless people for the roles) to the final shootout involving apparently all the members of the Florida National Guard firing simultaneously at the terrorist horde...and missing almost all of them. And they're USING TANKS. I understand "Suspension of Disbelief." This is worse than that. This is "take Disbelief out back, shoot him in the face and kick some dirt over him." Woodchuck sez, "Some small kitsch value and Richard Lynch aficionados ONLY."