Eye Candy #141 - "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Bob Ford"

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Bob Ford: The word 'ponderous' was invented for movies like this one, a western without any 'west'. The story of the rise and subsequent fall of Bob Ford (Casey Affleck, moping through the entire picture), the man famous for killing arguably the world's best-known outlaw Jesse James (c'mon, he's even got hair metal songs written about him, for Pete's sake). Except Jesse (Brad Pitt) ain't all that either in his relative twilight years - he's paranoid, murderous, and manic. Partnering with bumpkins and nobodies including Bob Ford and his older brother Charley, Frank and Jesse James rob a train in Glendale, Missouri. After the robbery, the gang starts to disintegrate as Jesse doesn't know who he can trust and ends up putting his faith in the wrong guy(s). Slow-moving, almost criminally overlong, and lethargic, "The Assassination of Jesse James" is a chore rather than a joy to view. Took me three days to get through it. The performances are nothing to write home about (Oscar-nominated for his role, Affleck was MUCH better in "Gone Baby Gone"), and the plot takes its time getting to its inevitable (and well-known) conclusion. The second feature from Australian director Andrew Dominik, it substitutes Calgary for St. Joseph, Missouri...and unfortunately Calgary looks very little like St. Joseph at all (something about the rolling hills and forests replaced by open wheat fields more convenient for shooting sunsets). I don't think this film is worthy of the praises heaped upon on it, and it wouldn't make a top 10 of 2007 from me. Too self-conscious, deliberate to a fault, and mind-numbing, I was hoping for more and got a lot less. Woodchuck sez, "Nothing to write home about."