Eye Candy #265 - "The Onion Movie"

The Onion Movie:  About five minutes into this movie, it’s easy to see why it sat on the shelf for FIVE YEARS after being completed in 2003.  Quite frankly, this movie is utter crap.  No way to sugar coat it.  It’s awful.  A sketch movie in the same vein as “Kentucky Fried Movie” and “Amazon Women on the Moon”, there is literally only ONE funny bit in the whole movie (a spoof of Steven Seagal’s movies, starring Seagal himself in a spoof called “Cockpuncher” and even that goes on too long).  Otherwise, this film is actually worse then the “_____ Movies” that have been vomited forth upon the general public every six months or so.  No reason on the planet to watch this movie (or to have made this movie).  There are a handful of name actors here (Daniel Dae Kim from “Lost”, Nick Chinlund) and you can be that they would like to forget this movie forever.  Woodchuck sez, “So bad on so many levels, I‘m embarrassed for ‘The Onion.’”